


Should Be

by mollyl13



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-06
Updated: 2016-08-09
Packaged: 2018-07-29 16:58:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7692376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mollyl13/pseuds/mollyl13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place during Katy and Shawn's wedding day after the ceremony. Maya deals with some unexpected feelings</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dropping

**Author's Note:**

> Not sure how many chapters this will be but I hope you enjoy it!

She watched them dancing. Riley can’t dance very well. She learned this about 20 minutes ago when they had a turn. But now she was with Lucas and grinning like an idiot. So was he. 

She looked down at the bouquet of flowers in her hands, wishing she had a canvas and some paint to make a still life portrait of them. They were white roses with pink and yellow swirls around the edges of each petal. She knew they didn’t grow that way, that someone added dye to make them look that way... but they were still beautiful.

She looked back up again, glancing around the party. She tried to keep focused on everyone else as long as possible but she would immediately glance back to Riley and Lucas. The longer she stared, the further and further down her stomach dropped till it felt like it should be on the floor. 

'What is wrong with me? I am happy for her. And Him. Mostly for her. Something still feels wrong though.' She didn’t feel jealousy, just… sadness. Confusion. After realizing she didn’t really like Lucas, it felt like she couldn’t trust herself somehow. Does this mean her feelings for Josh aren’t real either? She hated second guessing herself like this. This is what other people do, not her.

So why was she sad? Why does looking at them make her feel like this? She felt guilty for not being happier. She had to stop looking at them now. It was just making things worse. Maya quietly slipped through the door leading back to the Matthews’ apartment. 

——

Laying in Riley’s bed, still holding her bouquet, Maya let a few tears fall down her cheeks. How could she be happy for Riley and sad about it at the same time? She knew that she wasn’t jealous of Riley since she didn’t really have feelings for Lucas, apparently. She wished she could’ve just kept dancing with Riley the rest of the party. Then she would never be dealing with whatever this was. 

Her own psychoanalysis was put on hold as Riley walks into her room. Maya tried to wipe away any stray tears but it was too late. The second Riley saw her face, she rushed over to the bed.

“Maya, what’s wrong?’ Riley said, reaching across to wipe the tears on Maya’s cheek.  
“Nothing. It’s nothing Riles. I’m fine.” Maya said, trying to move away from Riley. “No, you’re not. You’re crying Maya. Please tell me what’s wrong…” Riley said holding onto Maya’s arm. 

Maya still got up from the bed, letting go of Riley’s grip on her. 

“Maya, you know you can talk to me. Whatever it is, you can-“ 

“I can’t Riley.” Maya said interrupting her. 

Riley was starting to tear up herself. “Ring Power.” She said it without a hint of humor. 

“Sometimes I hate these damn rings.” Maya said huffing. Riley walked over the bay window and sat down and Maya followed suit. 

“What’s wrong Maya? Why are you upset?” Riley said softly grabbing Maya’s hand. 

“I don’t know why exactly. I just- when I saw you and Lucas dancing-“ 

Riley immediately began to panic. “Oh no. You aren’t okay with us?! I asked Lucas to make sure to you were okay-“ 

“No. Riley, I wasn’t jealous of you. I don’t like him. I just feel really confused and I feel guilty for feeling like this when I should be happy for you” Maya said shaking her head.

“Don’t feel guilty.” Riley said, looking away from Maya. 

“Shouldn’t I? God, we ended the triangle but I feel like I’m still in it somehow.” 

“I don’t want you to feel like that. I’ll hold off on seeing him until l know you’re okay-

“No, Riley-

“Maya, this is more important. I care more about you then needing to date Lucas right now. Not if it’s hurting you.”

“You deserve to be with him Riley-“

“Lucas isn’t going anywhere. I need you to be okay. That’s what I want right now-"

"Well that's not what I want-" Maya was getting more upset as she spoke.

"What do you want?!" Riley said quickly.

“I wanted you!” Maya blurted out. Everything hit her in one tiny moment. “I wanted to be Lucas, dancing with you, making you grin like an idiot.” She couldn’t believe what she was saying but it was pouring out of her like it had been there forever. She wanted to be with Riley. The way Lucas was. She also may have just ruined everything between them. Maya swallowed, she hated when her mouth moved faster than her brain. 

Riley was speechless. Maya couldn’t tell how she felt, other than the look of shock on her face. 

'Oh god. I did. I ruined everything.' 

“I’m sorry.” Maya said before quickly climbing out the window onto the fire escape. Riley reached out for her a moment later.

“Maya, wait-", but she was already out of sight.


	2. Sweet

Riley sat and stared at the bouquet Maya left on her bed. It felt like her whole world had just flipped upside down and she didn’t know what to do or how she felt. 

'Maya likes me. She is the deepest and closest relationship I have in my life, but I still just never really considered what could be beyond that.'

She didn’t feel weird, just unsure of what to do and how she felt. It felt like Maya had told her a secret, only she felt like it was her secret too in a weird way. It wasn’t something she had really thought about because they were already so close but at the same time, it felt like it had been locked somewhere in her mind and just got released. Like someone changed the lens of their relationship and she could see it a bit clearer. 

She liked Lucas. She knew what that felt like. But she loved Maya. If Maya was a boy and they still had the same relationship, still did all the same things together, wouldn’t she at least have considered having feelings? Everyone else around her probably would assume she did. Riley hadn’t considered the possibility of liking someone of the same sex but if it was going to be anyone it would be Maya. She just needed more answers.

——

Riley sat on the fire escape outside of Maya’s room, something she never did. She really had only walked there with Maya before but she figured she would have to come home eventually. She didn’t bother calling her, knowing she wouldn’t answer. 

Riley heard the door to Maya’s room creak open. Walking in, still with tears falling down her cheeks, Maya slammed her door closed loudly. She sat down on her bed with a huff. She didn’t see Riley for a good minute until she tapped on the window, asking to come inside.

Maya’s eyes went wide when she saw her sitting out there. She couldn’t run. Riley had come to her and she was cornered. She swallowed, walked over to the window and opened it. 

Riley climbed in without pause and sat down on Maya’s bed. “Maya,-

“No, look, I’m sorry I said anything okay. I was being stupid-“

“Maya, just stop talking for a second, okay? You were being honest and that is never stupid. I’m not gonna stop being your best friend the second you are honest with me. No matter what. I’m not even sure what I’m feeling myself.”

Maya sat down next to her. “Riley, you don’t need to make me feel better.”

“I’m not, I mean, I really am confused. I just… how am I supposed to know if I feel the same way if I’ve never really thought about it before?” Riley asked looking into Maya’s eyes. 

“I didn’t realize it till a few hours ago. It wasn’t something I kept from you or stewed over. It just happened.” Maya said exasperated.

“Maya… how different would our relationship really be if we did like each other?

Maya smiled and almost laughed at the idea. “I don’t know. I don’t imagine it would be that different. Maybe just more intense.” Maya suddenly looked back to Riley. “Wait, are you saying that you like me?”

“I don’t know. Can we just see what happens? Can you just be Maya and I’ll be Riley cause that’s all I really know how to do right now.” Riley said leaning onto Maya’s shoulder.

“Whatever you want.” Maya said before hugging Riley.

—

When they returned to school, Riley told Lucas she needed more time before anything happened between them. Of course Lucas had a million questions, thinking he had done something wrong but she reassured him that it wasn’t him. She didn’t really say why or how much time she needed but that they needed to put their relationship on hold. She did feel bad doing this but it wouldn’t be right to just jump into dating him. They had just ended this triangle and now she was worried about causing another rift between the three of them.

She didn’t really talk anymore with Maya about what happened the night of the wedding. The just carried on as normal. But of course it was still in the back of her mind all day. They talked about all the things they normally did. They walked back to her apartment with their arms linked together as they always did. And tonight, she was babysitting Auggie and they would watch a scary movie on her couch like they always did. Her parents wouldn’t be back until the morning. 

Riley didn’t really like horror movies but she liked the excitement they brought. And she only ever watched them with Maya so she felt safe even when she got scared. 

—

Both girls plopped down on the Matthew’s living room sofa with their arms full of popcorn, soda and candy. Maya grabbed the remote with a big grin on her face while Riley pulled a throw blanket over both of them.

“This one is gonna be great. It’s supposed to be really scary.” Maya said pressing play. 

“Oh great. I hope Auggie doesn’t need to sleep ever again when wakes up to the sound of his sister screaming in terror.” 

Maya laughed and Riley, without thinking, cuddled into Maya’s side. This was how they normally sat together when they watched scary movies so Riley didn’t think before she did it. She pulled away for a moment. 

“Is this okay still?” Riley said gesturing to their position on the couch. 

Maya smiled. “Yes. As long as it is for you-“ Maya didn’t even finish her sentence before Riley returned back to her spot next to her. 

——

They had just gotten to the climax in the movie, where some crazed killer was chasing another guy through the woods. The guy was just about to reach his campsite when the killer jumped out and dragged him away to his death. Riley jumped and screamed and Maya even jolted a bit. Only she didn’t noticed because she was too focused on the fact that Riley had now buried her face in her neck and shoulder, hiding from the horror film. 

“Riley, it’s okay. It’s over. I promise.” Maya said, even though she didn't really want Riley to move away from where she was. 

Riley slowly pulled back from the safety of Maya’s neck, their faces inches away from each other. Again, one of those moments she wouldn’t have paid any attention to before but now felt like giant airhorn was going off in her head. They looked at each other for a moment and then Riley cleared her throat and moved a bit farther away, turning to face the tv again. 

—

It was now time for them to go to bed. After they cleared away all the food and such, they headed upstairs to Riley’s room. They each got ready, getting into their pajamas and everything was normal. As it always was. Riley felt a bit of relief in that. 

That was until they actually got into her bed. Both lying next to each other, their eyes wide open, not remotely close to falling asleep. 

“Hey Maya?”

“Riles?”

“How am I supposed to know if I like you if I already love you?”

Maya’s heart melted a little. “I don’t know. But I don’t expect you to know everything right now cause I sure don’t.”

Riley continued to look up at the ceiling, thinking and thinking. Until she got a really bad idea. She sat up and grabbed Maya’s hand, pulling her out of the bed. 

“Riley, what are you doing?” Maya said as Riley dropped her hand and grabbed her phone and a small speaker for it. 

“There’s just something I want to try.” 

“Well can we do it tomorrow-“

“Nope. Has to be right now.” Riley said grabbing Maya and heading out of her bedroom door. 

Maya was suddenly nervous. It was late at night and she had no idea what Riley was doing. 

——

They reached the roof the Matthew’s apartment and Maya was utterly confused. “Riley, what are we doing out here? You never go outside past like…10.”

Riley plugged in her phone to her small speaker and turned on a few of the remaining twinkle lights left from the wedding party. Her phone started playing a slow acoustic song, just loud enough for them to hear but not to wake everyone up. 

Maya looked at Riley, tilting her head in confusion. 

Riley walked over to her and held out her hand. “Dance with me.” 

Maya was taken aback. This was about the last thing she was expecting. They were out here in their pajamas, when they should be sleeping, and Riley wanted to dance with her?

“Riley,-“ 

“Nope, not taking no for answer.” Riley said grabbing Maya’s hand and twirl her around in a circle before Maya could respond. 

Maya let out a laugh. Riley then pulled her close, and she placed each of Maya’s hands around her waist, and put her own around Maya’s neck and shoulders. This was very different from how they had danced at the wedding and Maya knew it was deliberate on Riley's part. 

After a moment of feeling a bit awkward, they both relaxed a bit into the dance. Letting any tension fall away.

“I just needed to know what this felt like. With you.” Riley said sincerely. She felt so content dancing with her. Like she was allowed to feel as much as wanted about Maya without worrying what it meant for five seconds. 

“And?” Maya asked, terrified of what she might hear.

Riley mustered any last ounce of courage she had in body and moved her face in close to Maya's. She looked up at her one more time, giving her a chance to back away, but a moment later, her lips were on hers. Riley softly held Maya's cheek as they kissed. It was slow and gentle and most of all, sweet. Like candy. And Riley felt on fire.


End file.
